I’m a bit unusual in some ways and incredibly normal or classic in others.
When we shop for clothes on the rare occasion we do I almost always end up with classic styles and colors, earth tones. I rarely branch out and try bold colors or looks. It just doesn’t fit me and when I do try I don’t end up enjoying it. It’s the same with the colors in my home. I have lots of browns, greens and blues in my home.
But…personality wise and how I choose to live my life tends to be very unusual. The way I interact with people…the way I plan trips and spend my time, the way I live out my faith is different than many.
Lately in my life…
I’ve developed a pattern. I didn’t really plan on it or work for it to happen, it’s just happened. A couple of weeks ago I started biking on my own on the river road. After spending a year getting my girls going and biking with them, I could tell that I also just wanted some time to bike on my own with my own thoughts and speed. I was nervous at first…just in case I got a flat tire or some other issue came up it seemed more secure to have more than one person on site to deal with the solution. I’m not sure how my kids would’ve exactly been a great help in those situations but having numbers seemed more secure.
This is what’s happened…I’ve gotten used to biking on my own first thing in the morning. I don’t set my alarm. It’s not a job that I’m trying to get to at a certain time. But I generally wake up at 6am, lay in bed for about 15 minutes gathering my thoughts and motivating myself to get up and going and then I take a quick shower, hop in my bike clothes (hop might be exaggerating:) grab a quick breakfast, check in on the computer, clear any email, check on the weather and what’s happening on facebook and then I hit the road. Which literally means that I load my bike up and drive to the river road. Although soon, I hope to just start getting on my bike and biking from my driveway to the bike path.
I get to the bike trail and put on all the gear…the gloves, the helmet, the water backpack…I put my bag of tools, emergency stuff, snacks on the back of my bike and clear the milage and start off on my way. I almost always go at least 20 miles…sometimes more depending on the amount of time I have that day and the wind, it is down by the river after all and the wind can be brutal.
This is what happens…I start pumping and trying to avoid the bumps on the first mile or so of the bike trail and my body just starts doing what it’s supposed to do while biking all on it’s own without much thought from me. So…my mind is free. The view is nice, but unchanging for the most part so it doesn’t distract me. Few people are on the trail when I first start out so I have time and the trail mainly to myself.
I start to pray. I don’t follow a method or formula. I just start thinking of people and trying to be aware of what they might be going through or need prayer for. I pray for my church. I go through family by family and mention their names in my mind before God. I pray for marriages and parents and children and those going back to school. And whatever else that comes to mind. I pray for my family, my extended family, brothers, sisters, parents, nieces/nephews, grandparents, etc. I pray for my girls. I pray for this day and I pray for their future.
As I bike the trail I go half way and then have to turn around and come back, it’s not a circle situation. By the time I can’t seem to think of a single other thing that I might want to pray about that’s generally when I’ve gone half way.
I take a short rest break. My butt is sore by that point. I eat a snack, breathe, slow myself down, take in the view and try to have a general appreciation for life flow over me.
I then start to bike back to my car. At that point I find that I just start thanking God for everything I can think of in my life that is good. And somehow that segues in my mind to praying for guidance. Today I found myself praying…”God if you want me to write, than you give me the words. God if you want me to sing…then you give me the song. God if you want me to teach…than you give me the wisdom and the students to do so. God you order my day, you give me wisdom to know how to spend my time and resources. ” I found myself just saying over and over in my mind as I pushed my pedals “God teach me how to live, show me Your ways…”
Eventually when I’ve prayed over everything I can think of, when I’ve thanked God for everything that comes to mind, when I’ve surrendered and said…”Hey God…whatever you want, I’m open,” then what happens is my mind and body are both spent and I just listen.
God speaks.
I hear him just give me small ways to connect with people, to be a blessing, small ways to express love and care. For example, I find myself thinking about my sister Sue and how I haven’t connected with her as much lately because of our schedules and distance. I start thinking about how I want to make sure I do connect with her. I start thinking about awkward situations that I would rather avoid rather than enter and I find God asking me to enter them anyway. I find myself thinking of a friend that I haven’t gotten together with in a long time and I realize that I need to initiate contact again. I find myself thinking about what I might write about on the blogs that I write. I find myself having clarity of thought, clarity of direction. Nothing huge. No lightening bolts come down from the sky…but just a still small voice that leads me to connect with others and to love others better. It’s not forceful. Sometimes I hear the voice and come home and get busy and don’t follow through. God doesn’t yell at me if I don’t follow through… He gently just keeps whispering ideas to me.
I am not a prayer warrior person. I never have been. I’m the person who will forget to pray before a meal if I’m not careful…just ask my kids. I am a person who has often been disillusioned with prayer. Just today while I was praying I told God…”God… you already know all of this stuff…I’m not sure that my prayers change anything…I don’t understand how this works or even what the point is. But…Jesus prayed and if He prayed surely I need to also.”
I’m not a go to a dark room and get on my knees prayer person. I guess I’ve had those moments in my life. But right now during my prayer time my butt is far more sore than my knees. I’m not even a be still prayer person. The entire time I’m praying I’m in motion. Granted it’s mindless motion. I’m pedaling hard the entire time. The motion actually helps me stay focused I think. If I just sat still and tried to pray like I do while I’m biking my mind would wander all over the place and I would migrate quickly to my to do list and find myself distracted. But when I’m biking…the path is straight ahead and my focus seems better.
It’s not unusual for me at this point to spend 2 hours in prayer while I bike. I would never be a person who would stand and say…”I spend 2 hours of prayer daily in my quiet time” in church. But somehow…for some reason that seems to be what I’m doing lately first thing in the morning while I bike.
Ironically, when I started to bike it was about my weight and health and it still is. But it’s a lot more too. It was about spending time with my kids…and it still is. But it’s a lot more too. It’s become my sanctuary. I don’t think it would work for everybody and I’m not suggesting that everybody give it a try. But for me it works. In this season of my life when I don’t have to get up and quickly get kids off to school or myself off to work…it works. It orders my day.
A side benefit…I have interaction with people along the trail too. Some are regulars, some are sporadic… It feels lovely to offer a hello, a smile, a quick comment to somebody else out on the trail. I realized today…who knows how much I will interact with these people over the days to come. It feels good to bring the good news of life to a fellow human being on the trail.
I’m classic in many ways. You won’t find me branching out when it comes to fashion. But in other ways…I’m discovering that it’s incredibly freeing to live out life in the way that fits best to me.
I’ve never heard one sermon about prayer that said anything about praying as you pedal. I’ve heard a ton about quiet times and on your knees and in the closet type suggestions. I’m just thankful that God isn’t bound by the time or place or way in which we pray. For me…it’s on a River Road, on the bike trail. For me it’s first thing in the morning. For me it follows a certain progression.
My point is not that you need to do what I’m doing. Quite the opposite…my point is you need to find what works for you. Don’t be bound by expectations and religious ways. Don’t feel that you have to understand something like prayer to do it. I don’t think I’ll ever understand prayer. I’ve kind of stopped trying. I just do it anyway. Don’t feel that you need to pray certain words or in certain ways. Just talk to God how you want to, how it comes natural. Some people, say “Be careful what you pray for” as if God will do something terrible to you if you pray in the wrong way or for something like “patience”. I don’t buy into that. Just let words and thoughts and images and people come to your mind and let it be expressed however it comes natural. You’re not trying to pray the right words. All I do in prayer is lift people and situations up to God and trust that He’ll know what’s best and provide. Often I realize in prayer that I might be able to somehow provide encouragement or actual resources to those very people I’m praying about.
If you feel that you have to pray at a certain time, in a certain body position, in a certain place and with certain words you will never really spend that much time in prayer without it feeling like torture. I don’t feel tortured on my morning bike ride. It’s actually remarkably refreshing and peaceful. I don’t speak any words out loud. My prayers are all in my mind. My mind wanders occasionally but I try to just let it be free to go wherever the Spirit might be leading me and sometimes I find myself praying over things that I didn’t even realize might be an issue until that moment.
As far as the results. I’m not keeping a tally. I have no idea if any of my prayers are being answered. I don’t think it even matters. I know that sounds crazy. But for me prayer is simply bringing people and situations to God releasing them and then trusting that He will provide or do as He sees best. I try not to really have a prepared way in which I expect Him to answer. Unless…it’s for someone to come to know Him. I can pray that pretty confidently…but otherwise I just let the chips fall where they fall when I pray.
After I come home…I try to follow through on whatever God might have whispered for me to do. So today…I Facebooked my sister and hopefully will set up a lunch time with her in September when I’m back to Michigan. Today I contacted a friend and asked her when we could get together to catch up on life. Today I came home and before even changing out of my bike clothes…wrote this post. None of these things are big or life changing…but maybe the small things we do are more important anyway over the long haul. I’m not going to worry myself with the results…I’m just trying to be faithful with what I seemed to hear from God today.
In this season of my life when I’m just starting my sabbatical, when I’m trying to sort out what’s most important and how I should spend my time I don’t have many clear answers…but this bike/prayer time is something I feel confident is good and worth continuing.
One Life Well Lived 